“Grateful, thankful and blessed”

These words are written all over signs, hanging on walls of every house in the US, overflowing on shelves in stores, in the most minimalistic and understated way, so as to highlight the “thankfulness” or “gratefulness” or “blessings”. There are Tik Toks of people video-ing their homes, counting up the number of times someone has hung these words, as if that has a positive correlation to precisely HOW thankful, grateful or blessed one truly is. And I’m not here to judge those who hang such words – there can never be a bad outcome from plentiful reminders! As one myself who is, in fact, “thankful, grateful and blessed” – I get it… we want to shout it from the rooftops and acknowledge it and pay it tribute, and honor the blessings!

What are we thankful and grateful for exactly? What blessings do we count each day? I usually begin with my children, my family, my health, my home, an income to support said family and home… challenging and inspiring work to do, providing me a purpose. My friends, my community. The opportunities that have come to me throughout my life. All of the wonderful things life has offered to us, some simple and some not so simple.

This year, though, I would like to pay homage to some things that easily slip the mind when it comes to being thankful, grateful or blessed: my challenges. My goodness, the lessons I’ve learned in my life from challenges and mistakes and failures and hardships. I am infinitely grateful for them! Were it not for the many challenges my life has given me, I would not value the lessons provided by them… having a mother who was not emotionally available taught me to help myself, and to find another tribe; having a father who relied on drugs to function at a high level taught me about humanity and coping mechanisms; losing my father to that addiction taught me about love and acceptance and family dynamics; taking over his company taught me about responsibility; running that business since he passed has taught me how to act quickly, decide slowly, when to be “professional” and when to be human (always); heartbreak has taught (continues to teach) me my own strength; a breech baby resulting in a c-section taught me to be flexible in my expectations; a long labor with a VBAC taught me the capabilities (and limitations) of my own body; becoming a mother has taught me PERSPECTIVE; ending the romantic relationship with my children’s father is teaching me humility and how to truly communicate; and choosing to be “alone” (i.e. without a romantic partner) is teaching me how to just be.

I am sure I’m missing many along the way, but you get the idea. My goodness, without the challenges I’ve faced, I wouldn’t be me. I am so grateful for the lessons I’ve learned along the way… and though my goal is to reduce the “mistakes” I make on average… maybe I should just aspire to make different types of mistakes going forward. Because, after all, you either win or you learn… and I have plenty more to learn before my time here is done!